BECOMING ME…

Posted: December 18, 2014 by jayyajene in Getting Inspired, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,
Teenorbit

Teenorbit

 

I Tried writing a book once and dear Lord; in that moment, while it lasted, I felt like a bestselling author. Damn, I thought to myself, “I’ve found my calling. I’m a writer by design and there’s no doubt about that”. Well, your guess is right- if you cared to guess at all; half way down the road or should I say a couple of pages maybe four chapters tops, come on, it was my first attempt, I had a reason to ask myself ” are you sure this writing stuff is really your thing? Hey, stop deceiving yourself. ” And, yeah that was the end of something I once thought to be perfect. Pretty much short-lived I must say.

All I wanted was to discover myself. I really wanted to know what I was good at; something I could do with ease- that rules out studying so don’t even… never mind. I had a lot of friends around me back in high school who some of us considered to be musicians. “Why not? If they can do it then I can too”. Yes, believe it or not I joined the music industry at some point in my life. It seemed a lot promising at first, you know- and  I guess you also know how the story ended.

There was dancing , though poetry wasn’t really part of the plan so let’s just call it survival instincts. And I did try comedy too. In one word; awful. That was the moment when I felt I was of no use to myself let alone the world. I really wanted to become something. I had this belief that who I am depends solely on what I am- now that doesn’t make sense. Who, in the sense that I am Jayy and then, what I am really was “nothing”. So putting two and two together meant that I was nothing and it really hurt.

So the story of  me becoming me indeed is a tragic one with a lot of failures. The good thing about it all was the fact that there were a lot of failures- ironic right? It only proved my perseverance and now that’s a good thing. My ability to observe what others did and attempt to do it no matter how bad it turned out to be was equally an improvement.

And above all, realising what you cannot do is a big step closer to realising what you can do. The best way to win a fight is to avoid starting one but if you eventually get into one you know you can’t win, it’s most decent to run than to take a beating. Many times I have failed but I choose to see it as progress in becoming me.

Do you?

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. wendychinwe3 says:

    yea…I do…
    nice post…

    Like

  2. distinctionayo says:

    Cool

    Like

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