The Sand Castle

Posted: January 6, 2015 by TheBrontide in Relationship & Friendship

I am yet to determine how apt the title of this post is. Its the metaphor I’ve chosen for marriage and I’m not married. Hence my doubt. Let me tell you some things before I get on with the main topic.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend urged me to read Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl and I did within one day. I had missed seeing it at the school cinema in December but at the time I didn’t realise what I was missing out on. Still haven’t seen it but the book is enough to go on. Let me quickly quote the summary for those who have not seen the movie or read the book.

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy’s diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media–as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents–the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter–but is he really a killer?
As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister, Margo, at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn’t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was in that silvery gi
ft box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?

I started out feeling sorry for Nick until I found out about his infidelity and went right back to feeling sorry for him when it came to light that Amy was a psychopath. That single fact sold this book for me. It is a nice read. What made it nice? The characters. Their minds were served to us on a platter and their humanity, painfully obvious. In Nick’s foolishness, Amy’s craziness, Margo’s helplessness and Desi’s naivety. The slow manner in which it played out might be boring for some but if you liked Silver Linings Playbook, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy Gone Girl.

Anyhoo, enough about that. I have just laid a background for my most recent wonders. The first being: Even after years of marriage, you never completely know someone. In another book I read a long time ago, it was stated that, psychopaths live and dwell amongst us as respectable members of the society. Not exactly like that mind you, because I’m paraphrasing.The message was embedded in the awesome book titled Cinderella’s Hour by Katherine Stone. My question now is, if I can never completely know someone and as is often said, love is not enough, what then can we do? I mean, no one wants a divorce and some people have actually skirted around this whole affair by deciding that marriage is a no-no.

On the other hand, there are those lost in the dreams of their fairytale in ‘the sand castle’. As much as I am glad for them I’m a worrier. You see, I am yeaaaarrrsss away from that big step and here I am worrying my fingers over my poor keyboard trying to see if someone can understand my thoughts. I just finished the movie Last Night which showed the struggles in a modern marriage where both husband and wife are haunted separately by temptations in form of the beautiful Eva Mendes and a nice looking guy with a french accent(Alex) respectively. My second wonder is, lets say neither of you is a psychopath, you have love in bucket loads and all is well but then Tada! Eva or Alex, what now? Please don’t misunderstand me right now. I’m not trying to be a pessimist and I do think marriage can be beautiful but you can’t leave that task of making it so to you. A million things can go wrong. Thanks to my cousin who I had a conversation about this with, I know now not to dread it but to leave all to the higher power. I’ll just go with the flow and not think about it much after this.

Marriage is indeed The Sand Castle.

The Sand Castle

The wind could blow it away, however stunning, regardless of the amount of work you put into it. The waters can wash it away leaving no trace but the pain in seeing all your efforts vanish. Someone can step over it to infuriate you. Envious people can try to talk you into messing your castle up and you may destroy it with your own hands. It is fragile and has so many odds against it. However, built in the right place at the right time with the right friends and God’s approval, your castle can stand for a long long time. It can be the example that encourages others, the light they see at the end of the tunnel. The life-long friendship you have only dared to dream of, yes it can be. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

  1. feduplad says:

    I love the sand castle analogy. Good writeup. And yeah, it’s all down to God.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s