Wistful Moments -an Excerpt from my Journal.

Posted: July 7, 2015 by Dorian in Tough Stuff
Tags: , , ,

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Dear diary,
       Still with this unknown sickness, I refused to take my medications ( you know how much I hate taking drugs, Gen! ). Mom told me to take some rest because I wasn’t looking too good. Besides, I could count how many times I spoke today and worse still I had a bad appetite.

        I couldn’t pay attention in class for I was thinking about my life and remembered how many times the thought of attempting to take my life through anorexia came but I was scared to say the least. There was no one to pour out my heart to because I’ve always liked to be independent and people don’t really care about you except when your eyes falls or you pass out.

        Although those close to me couldn’t see anything wrong with me. So they thought and said within them “she’s doing just fine besides she’s got her straight ‘A’s, what can ever go wrong?”.  I hate to say these but I’ve  got to say them anyway, “I’m afraid of my shadows, I find it hard to reach out to new faces, I’m thin-skinned about a lot of things, I fake smiles to cover up my worries and I often switch moods. Believe me, I’ve harbours these for quite a long time and I’m afraid I can’t go on”.

       However, has a book ever spoken to you? Just as if it were specially written for you? Well, this eve, I read a life- touching book which has changed my being and I figured out that I’ve being passing through the juvenile stages which is a natural thing.

       So, from now on , I’ll try as much as possible to leave all these vices behind and have a happy-go-lucky attitude.

                                               Nikki.
Written by : Festus Adenike Joy
   (Facebook)

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Comments
  1. dhebbiejhay says:

    Hey Nikki. I feel your pain. Trust me. I have weird relapses at times and it becomes hard to calm down and be optimistic at times.

    And yea, it’s true; the people closest to you will see nothing wrong at all. They won’t see that under the smiles, jokes and laughs, there’s a teenager pining away under a burden.

    I totally understand how you feel and it can be helped. Read what lights you up inside, do what makes you happy and talk to someone. (I’m here)

    Hold on. These dark days will pass.

    Liked by 2 people

    • fessyjay says:

      Dhebbie, i find solace in what you said. It feels so good to hear someone express feelings that can fix one’s broken heart and lift one’s spirit. Thanks pal.

      Like

  2. Kevie says:

    The best thing you can ever do in such situation is to face yourself(face your worst fear). It’s a battle of the mind,choosing between what you believe and what you’re afraid of… And of course you need a friend who can really understand you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • fessyjay says:

      Thanks Kevie, I’ll say you’ve just lifted the burden off my neck. Yea, it’s a tough battle to be fought and I’m sure that I’ll win.

      Like

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